NOTE: People taking the title at its face value and getting judgmental are especially requested to read the article.
I would like to remind you of the 2014 movie PK depicting Amir Khan as an alien. In the climax of the movie, the director Rajkumar Hirani makes the protagonist assert that, ” Earthwa pe nanga ghumna mana hai, ye kissing vising nanga punga vala kaam log chup chupa ke band darwaze ke peeche karta hai, baki ladai jhagda , maar peet sab open ma allowed hai” (You cannot roam naked on the Earth, people make love behind the closed doors but fights and obscene violence is allowed in open). Though Amir has generalized the fact saying that it happens on the “Earth”, but it really happens only in “India”. You got that right, the same India which we call as being The Great.
We have heard it several times that, “India is the only country where you can’t kiss but piss in public”. The intent of this article is to read the above statement along the grain. Every year before February approaches, two distinct phenomena find their way in India. The apparently sacred couples, who have ritually performed the 7 pheras around the holy fire, think of gifting their spouses on the Valentine’s Day. Even their adult daughters or sons wish their parents and try to convince them for celebrating the day and the parents finally agree. But, the real irony lies here only. Those adults who persuade their parents, in turn get quite the opposite. They become the victims of Moral Policing. There is no need to specify the names of those political groups involved in this so called ‘Act of Protecting the Indian Culture’, otherwise I will get some “Wings” (pun intended) attached to me and believe me I am happy as being a social animal, I don’t want to be an aerial one.
Two consenting adults, who want to make out or indulge in a sexual intercourse, fail to find a proper place. Their homes, of course so holy, how can such an activity be performed there. Libraries, universities, beeches or roadside tea stalls are some of the places where they sit and talk, but as soon as they try to cross the “Laxman Rekha”, they are shooed away like a pair of mating animals. Some stupid innocent people who hug or kiss their partners in public transports are killed by the gaze of surrounding middle aged people, for whom it appears a heinous crime. Disappointed couples finally find their way to some decent hotel rooms, where they hope to get some privacy by duly paying off the rent. But, we see them next day in the newspapers’ headlines, with their faces covered and their hands tightly grabbed by the police. They are termed as ‘shameless’, ‘sex workers’, ‘polluters of the culture’, ‘setters of bad examples for the next generation’. The 2015 movie Masaan directed by Neeraj Ghaywan, throws light on this concept.
Men urinate on the walls of our prestigious universities, banks, railway-stations, bus-stands, schools, hospitals and where not. Have you ever thought that we can’t tolerate a dog pissing on the corner of our cars, then why do we take the men so lightly? It simply implies that humans must be having some prerogatives which the animals don’t have. So, here comes my next question, if you shoo away a mating animal pair, then how can you do the same with the Homo sapiens, after all in the above lines only we proved that we are superior to animals, then why this case is an exception? It shows how our morality is hierarchical. Our concern towards regulating sexuality is much more stronger than the urge to regulate hygiene and cleanliness. For once pissing doesn’t challenge the social structure bound by caste, class and patriarchal notions and secondly it doesn’t challenge the power structure of the paterfamilias or the power and the obligation of absolute adherence to the male member of the family. Kissing challenges our patriarchal morality and pissing is just a disgusting act. But have you ever seen a women pissing in public? May be not. Because as I said, there is a hierarchy even in our morality. The mere participation of women many a times evokes a sense of morality among the patriarchs and they feel the urge to control it. This is the irony of my nation!!
Marital rape is not a criminal offense under the IPC. Rapes occur in open streets. Women are harassed publicly. They are inappropriately touched in the same public transports, where a couple can’t hold hands together. Men on bikes touch the passing girls on their breasts and buttocks taking off their duppatas. But how does it matter right? At least our “Sanskaars” are not being defiled like those nasty and lusty youngsters, who believe in consensual sex.